Your feelings are hurt and you want your other half to know it, you stamp mind the house, slamming doors, tossing your head and sighing heavily. But he seems oblivious. You move on to the silent treatment and he still carries on as normal.
It's only when you cry with frustration that he actually comes over and puts his arm around you. A female friend would have noticed your distress the second she sets eyes on you. But it's taken your so-called soul-mate half an hour and a torrent of tears to realise that you're upset. Is there something wrong with your relationship?
This is one of the posers in Dr. Louann Brizendine's findings published in a book. You don't need marital guidance or couple counselling. According to her, it is a very typical domestic scene. The problem lies not with your partner but with the difference between the way men and women think. She believes all brains start out the same way but slowly change while we are in the womb.
If a baby is going to be a boy, there's a huge surge in the level of the sex hormone, testosterone, beginning in the eighth week. This kills off some cells in the communication centres and grows more in the sex and aggression centres. Thus, the brain becomes 'male'. If the baby is going to be a girl, there will be testosterone surge.
The female brain continues to grow —sprouting more connections in the communication centres and areas that deal with emotion. She also observes that: "Women have an eight-lane superhighway for processing emotions while men have a small country road. This explains why women are experts at picking up on mood while men have difficulty spotting an emotion unless someone starts crying or becomes aggressive.
She believes many of the moans women have about men and vice versa can be explained by their neurology. "He never listens…": In men, testosterone shrinks the section of the brain used for hearing. Women have 11 per cent more neurons than men in the brain centres for laughing and hearing. "She's always rabbiting on"; She claims that women use about 20,000 words a day while men only around 7,000. The act of talking fills the female brain with chemicals that give women a high, connecting through talking activates the pleasure centres in a girl's brain.
This is a huge amount of pleasure, the fattest neurological reward you can get outside of orgasm… "All he thinks about is sex:" Sexual thoughts float through a man's brain several times every day on the average and through a woman only once a day, or perhaps three or four times on her sexiest days. Men have two and a half times the brain space devoted to sexual drive. "When we argue, she rakes up fights I can't even remember."
Women may remember the smallest details of their first dates and their biggest fights, while their husbands barely remember that these things happened. Brizendine's findings, which she discusses in her book: The Female Brain, are based on her own clinical work and analysis of more than 1,000 scientific studies. "I believe that women actually perceive the world differently from men," she says.
"I know it's not politically correct to say this, but I've been torn for years between my politics and what science is telling me. Although women have smaller brains than men, they have the same number of brain cells and are just as clever as their male counterparts. Males and females have the same average intelligence.
She also believes that: "Women have been wrongly labelled as being less capable in certain areas such as mathematics and science. The reality is that women naturally seek out interaction with others. Often, maths and science simply don't fit the bill in that respect. When girls and boys hit their teens, there's no difference in their capacity for these subjects.
As oestrogen floods the female brain, the female starts to focus intensely on their emotions and on communication —talking on the phone and connecting with their friends down the shopping centre. Girls start to lose interest in pursuits that require more solitary work and fewer interactions with others.
"Women should be proud of their considerable mental attributes. The female brain has tremendous unique aptitudes— outstanding verbal agility, the ability to connect deeply in friendships, a nearly psychic capacity to read faces and tone of voice for emotions and states of mind, and the ability to defuse conflict.
These are the talents women are born with that many men, frankly, are not. It's my hope that the female brain will be seen and understood as the finely tuned and talented instrument that it actually is."
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